Sunday, July 1, 2007

Florine's Condition

As you all are aware from my previous comments, hope is diminished, and my Babe's beautiful journey through life is quickly coming to an end.When it does, a piece of me will go with her...and be lost forever. Her smile is just to big for this earth.

The multiple contusions to all parts of her brain, particularly the brain stem, have created a long term prognosis that is not acceptable to Florine. She indicated her wishes to me 37 years ago, but more importantly, provided direction in a signed health directive that has enabled her to be in complete control of her death, as she has always been in life.

She just celebrated her 59th birthday, but in terms of quality of life- and living it wth sheer gusto, you would have to double it in comparison to others that have kissed this earth. To me, she is magic.

Florine's family will be here tomorrow to bring their love and goodbyes. When the time is right, I will be alone with her to kiss my baby goodnight.

When the breathing tube is removed, Florine will determine how long we have the privilege of her presence, and her strength can not be denied.

Arrangements are being made for family and friends, and all who loved her, to share a celebration of her life. The time will be 10:00 am, Thursday, July 5th, at the Immaculata (University of San Diego). Details, including directions, will follow in upcoming posts.

If Florine could, she would thank all our friends and neighbors for the love and support offered during this perilous storm in the heat of summer.

I am her messenger...and I thank you with all my heart.

John

17 comments:

lisa carter said...

I am so sorry John to hear this terrible news. What a beautiful life you two have had and to think she has been taken from you is devastating! The joy in both your eyes when you greeted each other in the mornings at the gym showed a devoton that is rare and to be treasured. We will miss her smile and cheerful presence on those early mornings. And for you, this uphill battle which you didn't expect nor deserve will hopefully be made a little easier with all the support of all your friends and from them you can gain some strength. I certainly will miss Florine! Lisa Carter

Anonymous said...

Oh John! I am very sorry to hear the latest news. It is just like Florine to not want to burden you with such a difficult decision. Tell her not to be afraid. At the moment of her passing, you will absolutely feel God's presence in the room. You probably already do. May God bless you during this diffult time. Tammy Britt (SDCOE friend)

Anonymous said...

Dearest John - Tell her hello for us - for it is never goodbye to such an enchanted spirit - she will be with us always. Only "Until next time, Florine.......we love you."
Annie & Willie

Anonymous said...

My dear Sweet John, I have not ceased to pray for our precious Florine and for stength for you in this awful time especially for you and for those for those of us who love and adore your wonderful Babe. My heart breaks for you and for such a great loss to all of us. I wish so much I could be there to support you. I am currently in Philadelphia with my daughter and do not return until after the services. Please know my heart is there with you, praying and loving you. When you are ready, I will be there to support and listen. Your love for each other always brought me such hope, and Florine has been a blessing we shall never ever forget. But we sorrow not as others sorrow who have no hope. I believe we will see her again in life eternal. I will continue to pray for you. Much love, Loretta

Unknown said...

John
I have been saddened for many days now- on the verge of tears.
The "babe" was the best. I have known her since the early 70's when you both decided to move from CT to CA.
I cannot be there for the funeral as I must take Suzanne to an eye specialist on Thursday because of further complications regarding her glaucoma and detached retina. How ironic considering the painting she did of Florine's mare and foal.
I will be out in CA the week of the 22nd and will stay a few extra days at the end of that week. I would like to visit you in San Diego if you want. I truly respect your desire for space.
Quite frankly I am at a loss for words. Florine was such a special person. I have much to say and yet I can’t seem to say what I want.
She was one of the most energetic, positive and wonderful people I’ll ever know.
I so miss her and that is just a fraction of what you must be feeling right now.

But I am so concerned for my dear friend John. The guy who had his locker next to me in 7th grade. As my father would say “make haste slowly”. Please take time to heal and decide how you can keep on keeping on. I’m sure you have no idea where your life will go without her, but please know that so many of us love you like a brother, friend, etc and we want to be sure that your life has meaning for what ever days you have on this earth. Florine would have wanted you to “make a difference” I/we are all here to give you support, help, guidance and love.
May you find some peace in the fact that Florine was doing what she loved so much (being with horses).
I will be with you on Thursday.

Mark (& Suzanne)

Anonymous said...

Dear John,
Even though I see you everyday but I think it would be better for me to write down.
I'm very sorry for what happened. It was just so sudden and I know neither you ,me nor anybody would prepare for that. Florine was so nice and gave me a lot of advices when we lived together. I will miss her so much.
Take care, John
Love
Trang

Anonymous said...

Dear John...

Words escape us which could tell you just how heavy and sad our hearts are upon hearing this news.
Florine touched us all in her own way, and we will truly miss her. Know that all our love is with you at this difficult time...
Your Connecticut cousins,
Bob & Terri, John & Judy,
Philip & Rosann

Anonymous said...

John: My heart is heavy as I write this. We are in the midst of renewing our vows so all our family and close friends are here. We will be depositing folks at the airport on the day of your memorial.

I will be there in spirit for despite all the planning and family affairs that are being conducted, Florine has been in my prayers whenever I think of her and of you going through this.

With deep sympathy,

Molly Barg

Anonymous said...

John I so wish there were easy words to provide comfort and strength to you at a time like this - but we both know there aren't. The part of your soul that shall go with her, will eventually be filled with all the love everyone is sending your way for your own healing process.

If she had to leave this world too soon - I hope it is a small blessing for you that it started with something she loved - her horse and riding and the shear joy of being at one with the animal and the power of speed.

God keep you strong in the upcoming months as you start your next phase. Let me know if there is anything I can do the help.
Mary
mkw92020@hotmail.com

Louise in Denver said...

John,
Be at peace in knowing that your last gift to Florine is to let her go as she has asked and trusted that you would honor.
I'm with you,
Louise

Anonymous said...

John,

I am just devastated. I came back from a week-long conference and was unable to get e-mail there.

I am so shocked and saddened to hear about Florine.

She is such a beautiful woman, and you two have always been my inspiration as the perfect couple.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I feel so helpless. Bless you.

Judy Hagar

Anonymous said...

John,

You have been in my thoughts incessantly. I've been consumed my memories of the warmth that surrounded you and Florine as well as the incredibly loving words you've always used to describe her and your relationship. My sadness for you cannot be described. I am uplifted only by the fact that you and Florine had already discussed this agonizing decision, thus you are not making such a determination alone.

Your strength and lovely comments about your babe are inspiring. I look forward to seeing you soon and wrapping you in a giant hug.

Love,
Jennifer Divine

Anonymous said...

Dear John,
I'm very sorry to hear this news.It's a big shock for me.I just checked my mail.I don't know how to express my feeling by English.I miss both of you...

Anonymous said...

John,
I worked with Florine at SDCOE several years ago. Jodie (Villarreal) Ruiz told me about what happened. I am glad you set up this site to share her progress with friends and family. You are an eloquent writer and the deep love you have for her is very apparent. Although I did not work with Florine directly, she was always a joy to be around. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Susan Gertsch

Anonymous said...

John - Russ and my hearts ache for you and your loss of your beloved Florine. She will be in our hearts forever and it helps to know she is now in God's care.

Anonymous said...

Dear dear John - I have read your last post so many times I could recite it by heart - I always knew how much she loved you, and now I can understand more deeply why - other than the obvious that you are a man of rare character. She is so proud of you - we all are. My grief is almost unbearable - your calm serenity shames me.....
Annie

Anonymous said...

As our eyes fill up with tears about this tragic news,we send all our love and support to you John and Florine's family.To not here her the excitement in her voice when I called,to here her say 'hey how are the boys, they must be getting big, the garden is doing great,how is sarah, hold on,john it's johnny, and you pick up the phone to say hey man what's going on.The smile,the charm, warmth, love,the hats and the fashion she wore, all timeless! May Uncle Charlie and Aunt Mary welcome her to gods home with open arms! God bless with all our love. John & Sarah